There’s no shortage of juicy rumors emerging from the nuptials between Kanye West and Kim Kardashian that will take place outside of Paris this springtime. The duo have been in the public’s eye ever since they announced the original engagement over a year ago, prompting a forest fire of speculation about who, where, when and how.
There’s still only a few details that we know about the wedding from start to finish, but what we do know for certain is that Yeezus will perform a new song upon his wedding day for his blushing bride. This song may or may not be part of the overall publicity about the wedding, and may or may not be part of a new album.
Time and space
The new venue and time for the wedding was the result of original plans for the big day breaking down. Originally, the plan involved the couple getting hitched in southern Italy to an invite-only reception of only a few dozen close family members and friends. That’s since been revised in order to accommodate a media circus and more publicity.
Today, we know that they’ve booked a palace outside of Paris, city of lights, in order to tie the knot like true celebs. They pushed back the date originally in order to accommodate their daughter, North, into the ceremony, though it’s not clear how she’ll function at only one year of age.
The guest list has been expanded considerably, now including several hundred people, though it remains invite-only and it’s clear that Kanye will not allow any paparazzi to distract him from his bride.
That’s especially salient, since Kanye assaulted a photographer at the LA airport only last month and was ordered to two years probation along with 250 hours of community service and two dozen anger management classes.
The chamber of secrets
So with all the mystery surrounding the wedding, what do we know about the big day and the lineup of events? Kanye kicked off the intrigue by releasing a statement that the only definitive answer would be two words: fighter jets.
Will he parachute out of an F-22, or will he just settle for having a fly-over once they exchange rings, or does he intend to launch an air-to-air missile to provide fireworks?
The French Air Force has yet to release a statement about whether or not their aircraft will be involved in the wedding, so it’s still quite literally up in the air.
We do know that there will be no shortage of delicious meal items at the reception, since Kanye’s good friend Gordon Ramsay operates a restaurant in the hotel that the couple will host their invites in. It’s a good bet that this world class chef will take over the wedding meal as well.
So what’s the news about Kanye’s new song? There’s not much we know, and there’s not much we’ll know after the fact, either.
Kanye has reportedly asked all wedding participants to sign confidentiality agreements in order to keep his newest track from leaking out to the world.
Whatever the situation, however, we can be sure that it’ll be a big, big deal. After all, Kanye reports that he’s his own favorite rapper. It’s certain that he won’t hire a DJ on the biggest day of his life.
Whether or not his marriage lasts longer than Kim’s last fling with NBA star Kris Humphries, however, is anyone’s guess.