25 Celebrities You Didn’t Know Were Alcohol Addicts

Stephen King


Alcoholism is a serious problem for many Americans today, and even celebrities are not exempt from such addictions. In fact, as we well know, some celebrities are more prone than average to alcohol addiction and drug abuse, because they can well afford to feed their addictions.

Here are twelve celebrities you may not have known were alcohol addicts.

1. Stephen King

World famous, horror writing phenomenon, and the visionary behind such scare-you-to-pieces flicks as “It”, Stephen King fought a battle with drugs and alcohol for years.

After a family intervention in 1987, King realized that he needed to make a change and has remained sober ever since.

Stephen King hasn’t exactly been shy about his alcoholism, however. A large number of his novels feature main characters who suffer from the same affliction that he did, including (most famously) Jack Halloran from both the novel and Jack Torrence from the film version of “The Shining.”

King has also spoken at length during his college tour career about his constant struggle to get his condition under control for good. Alcohol and drugs created an escape from the depression which has impacted since his impoverished childhood in Portland, Maine.

Order Stephen King’s Books – Click Here

His father abandoned the family when King was 2, and his mother was left to work a number of menial job to support her children. King had a constant fear of losing his mother, and admitted was even intoxicated when he gave the eulogy at his mother’s funeral.

He isn’t proud of it now, but he has since gained control of his abusive drinking habits.

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268 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Guest 33 March 20, 2014 at 7:31 pm - Reply

    of course if they are alcoholics they still are and always will be. There is no such thing as a person who “used to be an alcoholic”. The disease of alcoholism progresses and gets worse even if you are not drinking

  2. Shemp March 19, 2014 at 5:50 pm - Reply

    Once again the non-PC Gibson gets the beat-down…the other celebs, the soft shoulder of sympathy…

  3. terrythecork March 19, 2014 at 12:41 pm - Reply

    An Alcoholic is a Drunk who doesn’t drink. A Drunk is an Alcoholic who Drinks. The Disease runs all through my Family. 33 YEARS SOBRIETY AND STILL A FRIEND OF BILL W.! My experience has shown me that the bitterest letters in a Forum like this tend to come from people who still drink, even though it’s becoming evident that they need to stop. Can’t handle MY success with this issue? That’s YOUR Problem. Have a Nice Day…

  4. TRB SR. March 17, 2014 at 5:37 pm - Reply

    Alcohol is just a smokescreen for all the other drugs that these glorified addicts did in order to make big $.

  5. $22639970 March 15, 2014 at 6:05 pm - Reply

    None of these people are a surprise. Their alcoholism is old news. Glad that most of ’em seem to be recovered.

  6. paganpink March 14, 2014 at 4:24 pm - Reply

    Robin Williams became a “dry drunk” and seems to miss the enormous amounts of cocaine he used even more then the alcohol. He still goes on mindless (and fact free) obscene rants against people he doesn’t agree with like Sarah Palin. He tries to mock Rush Limbaugh for having the same disease he has! Unbelievable hypocrite and no longer funny- just manic and frantic.

  7. BassFreak February 27, 2014 at 5:35 am - Reply

    The problem with becoming sober is it makes you more boring, but at least you get to live longer I guess.

  8. Phil February 22, 2014 at 7:09 am - Reply

    Mickey liked to drink. So do I. Big deal. I always liked his description of his appearance after a night’s drinking: eyes like two holes pissed into a snowbank. Classic! Mickey was the best!

  9. FireManEd February 19, 2014 at 8:38 pm - Reply

    People That GoTo AA and/or Stop Drinking Are Quiters! I Wouldnt Want Them On My Team!

  10. Flashbang February 19, 2014 at 6:01 pm - Reply

    King was also a concaine addict

  11. <-America's Future. February 17, 2014 at 6:11 pm - Reply

    You mean didnt care

  12. Eurekaman February 12, 2014 at 2:29 am - Reply

    I think I heard last week that Affleck is back in rehab.

  13. Eurekaman February 12, 2014 at 2:26 am - Reply

    FYI All alcoholics are addicts but not all addicts are alcoholics.

  14. Rose February 12, 2014 at 2:07 am - Reply

    It’s called Alcoholism! Get a grip! Peace! rs

  15. Mike McTighe February 11, 2014 at 6:03 pm - Reply

    The Shining is about King’s alcoholism. The book, not Kubrick’s movie. In fact Kubrick downplayed the alcoholism, which is more in the forefront of the novel. This and several other deviations is why Stephen King is so mad about the way Kubrick adapted his novel.

  16. Buffalo February 11, 2014 at 3:10 am - Reply

    Robin William’s is a coke head

  17. jim smith February 10, 2014 at 7:16 am - Reply

    of course mickey mantle, he said that if he knew that he would live longer than his dad he wouldnt have done it. these people listed are the poster children for this, not a skeletal closet.

  18. Heresanidea February 10, 2014 at 2:12 am - Reply

    There is no such thing as an alcoholic. People do become dependent on alcohol, but that is a symptom of some other issue or issues. Take care of those issues, stop drinking, and voila, you are now just a regular healthy person. No need to label oneself and continually obsess about it. Move on to better life.

  19. Thomas Ingle February 9, 2014 at 2:34 am - Reply

    klear101 and anyone else confused about the addict/alcoholic issue; It is very simple, an alcoholic is AN ADDICT! period! Alcohol is a drug so if you are addicted to alcohol you are an addict!! So many Americans like to separate the two but this is done mainly by people who seem to think they are some how better people than low life addicts! Alcohol abuse causes more deaths and more misery than all the known drugs in the world put together! I have never met anyone who lost a love one to a driver causing an accident because they smoked some weed but I did lose one of my best friends when a drunk driver swerved in to his lane while he was riding his motorcycle, hit him head on, and killed him! I am sure many people will read this and cry “I know some one who was hurt by a driver on drugs” and this is true. So why is alcohol separated from other drugs when obviously it is just another drug!

  20. Billy Beatty February 8, 2014 at 9:38 pm - Reply

    I always celebrate people in recovery, famous or not. It’s terribly hard to get and stay sober. Congratulations!

    • hutch1200 February 10, 2014 at 9:54 pm - Reply

      Tru Dat!

    • fcabanski February 13, 2014 at 12:02 am - Reply

      Hogwash. When you keep a strangle hold on you problems, saying “I’ll always be recovering”, then it’s hard. You make it hard.,

      • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:51 pm - Reply

        Sounds like YOU make it hard. Sorry for you.

  21. addalled February 7, 2014 at 9:37 pm - Reply

    Drunks!

    • Busbozo June 1, 2014 at 1:27 pm - Reply

      Disease or not a disease. Well – you could be right and it’s not a disease. The American Medical Association and the American Psychiatric Association say it is a disease as well as thousands of recovered/recovering alcoholics.
      You could be right and they could be all be wrong. The earth could also be flat.
      Powerless refers to the physical trigger of THIQ released as a byproduct of alcohol digestion. Powerless refers to the psychological craving related to the behavioral ‘ism’s of alcohol ADDICTION which with some folks lead to using alcohol. (BTW – those self same behavioral ‘ism’s are also exhibited in many folks who don’t drink but grew up in a home with one or more alcoholics.) Powerless refers to the lack of the spiritual strength to avoid the first drink which leads to the THIQ release and the cycle of continued drinking (Carl Jung has some interesting comments in this arena.)
      Meetings. Practicing the first word of the first step.

  22. dtabq February 7, 2014 at 2:15 am - Reply

    Robin Williams is no surprise. He appeared at Jerry Garcia’s memorial in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park days after the singers death. He was completely sloshed, attempted jokes that wouldn’t have been funny had he been sober and then kept repeating them. It was deplorable for him to do this in public, even more so at a memorial service attended by thousands. I’ve never seen another movie he’s been in since.

  23. mannychooch February 6, 2014 at 3:49 am - Reply

    so what, we all have our problems, it’s how we handle them in the end when ever that end is. “LIFE IS WORK IN PROGRESS” as is GOLF..

  24. terrythecork February 5, 2014 at 12:55 am - Reply

    A drunk is an alcoholic who drinks. An alcoholic is a drunk who doesn’t drink..

  25. gr689 January 30, 2014 at 5:34 pm - Reply

    really??? has Mel ‘gained control’ of his addiction?? first an addict NEVER gains control of his addiction….there is no lassoing it and riding that bull; it only gets meaner and the crash is going to be harder….enough with the crap though…
    you don’t gain control over the addiction you have to surrender yourself to a higher power and admit that addiction has control over you!! Then you tear up the old foundation and slowly re-build it again, on a different lot perhaps, use different material but all without the one or two ingredients you were used to always using….and if you got those ingredients from Home Depot and Lowes, then you don’t go there anymore and you find a totally new hardware store to help build your foundation and then eventually your new home…..and after your new home is built and you put in a lawn and all the fixens, you will feel so comfortable in your new home that you couldn’t even imagine what it was like in the old…..anyhow, that’s how i know how to do it….but its not conscious control over your addiction…..its having no control over your addiction, thats essentially how we became addicts, by having no control over it and taking and taking and taking more and more, with no control.
    So is Mel alright?? I don’t know, maybe he is….who knows but Mel and close family??? Addicts are very good at hiding their behavior especially when their addiction problems become public knowledge and everyone thinks they are all better now….WHEW!! they will hide that thing til the old eagles grinnin!!

  26. Robb Nunya January 27, 2014 at 9:31 pm - Reply

    Umm… I knew about everyone but M&M. And him I just didn’t care about.

  27. George Talbot January 22, 2014 at 12:13 am - Reply

    If you say, “Everything Johnny Depp touches turns to gold,” I think you didn’t see the recent Lone Ranger film.

  28. Karenindixie January 21, 2014 at 9:13 pm - Reply

    Stephen King doesn’t surprise me. A mind that can dream up all those horror stories must be hard to keep quiet.

    • Jeanne Tomlin January 26, 2014 at 4:44 am - Reply

      I thought everyone knew about his drinking and drug problems. He has been totally open about them.

    • Janet Lurker February 18, 2014 at 8:31 pm - Reply

      Most brilliant people have addiction problems. Earnest Hemingway was one as well as Jack Kerouac and others. Most of them have chemical imbalances in their brains that can excel their talent as well a s drive them mad.

  29. Eclectic Art January 19, 2014 at 11:01 pm - Reply

    This is like when George Carlin announced he was “addicted to wine”. You are a drunk. No way to make it sophisticated.

  30. Eclectic Art January 19, 2014 at 11:00 pm - Reply

    Drunks, I believe is the correct word.

  31. Mike Shapiro January 16, 2014 at 6:14 pm - Reply

    Is alcoholic or drunk not politically correct? like the man said ” a rose by any other name is still a rose”

    • hutch1200 February 10, 2014 at 9:45 pm - Reply

      I’m a drunk, who only gets a daily reprieve if I work at it.

  32. Chilcox January 15, 2014 at 4:55 pm - Reply

    C’mon. Everybody friggin knows Mel Gibson and Mickey Mantle are/were drunks. And Billie Holliday was only one of a thousand Jazz singers/musicians from that era to have alcohol/drug issues…its literally easier to name the sober ones…so singling her out doesn’t make sense.

    • Speakingplaintalk March 14, 2014 at 12:08 pm - Reply

      Billie Holliday had years of heroine addiction
      every offer to help her she refused
      She verbally described her desire to divide herself from
      the rest of humanity and remain in her own world

      sad but it was her choice
      .

      • Shemp March 19, 2014 at 5:54 pm - Reply

        Hero (male), heroine (female), heroin (drug)…just trying to help…no offense intended.

        • dude April 29, 2014 at 4:32 pm -

          thank you because we would have absolutely no idea what he/she was talking about.

          please continue your valiant, selfless work of policing the spelling on this celebrity gossip page.

  33. Kat S January 12, 2014 at 6:36 am - Reply

    Eminem looks so lost, lonely, and mad at himself and the world…no wonder he’s drinking.

  34. Kat S January 12, 2014 at 6:32 am - Reply

    Love Mel Gibson. I don’t give a rat’s butt what he’s done or said…he’s a great actor, makes fantastic movies, is outspoken (thank you for that, Mel) and just plain doesn’t give a hoot what people think of his views. That’s what I call honest, and that’s what I like about him.

    • Vermonster February 8, 2014 at 7:46 am - Reply

      In vino veritas?

      • Kat S March 25, 2014 at 3:37 pm - Reply

        I have no idea if he drinks wine or not and to be honest, I don’t give a flying squirrel. Vivere militare est !

    • jasper February 13, 2014 at 6:33 am - Reply

      I agree with you completely regarding Mel Gibson. Although when he was stopped for drunk driving it did alot of damage to his career.

      • Kat S March 25, 2014 at 3:35 pm - Reply

        Hes been producing and making his own movies for a long time. I don’t think anything he does would hinder his carreer. Besides, his age suggests that his career is almost over. Still love this man. You need to see the movie “Get the Gringo” from 2012. Obviously, he still has a career, because this movie is absolutely great!

    • Speakingplaintalk March 14, 2014 at 12:26 pm - Reply

      Read recently Mel Gibson has been sober for years.
      Lost his family and was blackmailed by a ” temporary warm fuzzy place”
      who turned out to be a vulture but he loves his daughter and does
      everything to keep her close.

      Kuods to a non active alcoholic who has had the courage to stop making bad choices such as warm fuzzy vampires and picking up a glass/bottle/tankard/mug.

      `

  35. glenp827 January 10, 2014 at 2:04 pm - Reply

    oh poor Billie holiday , pressures of being famous AND A HEROIN ADDICT TOO. Should team up with that trash NAtlaie Cole

  36. glenp827 January 10, 2014 at 2:02 pm - Reply

    Diana Ross deserves all the misery she can reap upon herself

  37. disqus43 January 9, 2014 at 4:10 am - Reply

    Aretha Franklin is the Queen of Soul. Don’t be fooled.

    • Jay Conley February 8, 2014 at 8:15 am - Reply

      Tell it sista!

  38. krs1957 January 9, 2014 at 12:57 am - Reply

    Duh.

  39. quotidian January 8, 2014 at 3:57 am - Reply

    There is someone on earth who does not know Mickey Mantle was a raging alcoholic?

    • Legalize Steroids February 10, 2014 at 8:32 am - Reply

      Who?

  40. david5300 January 7, 2014 at 12:19 pm - Reply

    After king “dissed” the vets I have no use for him.

  41. Disqus42 January 7, 2014 at 6:39 am - Reply

    Robin Williams. Who doesn’t love him? ME. He makes me sick!

    • Kat S January 12, 2014 at 6:25 am - Reply

      I can’t handle his idiotism either…

    • Jay Conley February 8, 2014 at 8:14 am - Reply

      I remember a day when he was funny!

    • ladynai March 17, 2014 at 2:10 pm - Reply

      He was known to listen to struggling comics at comedy clubs, steal their material, and put them in his ‘improv’ on ‘Mork and Mindy’. When he showed back up at the comedy club, the comics said ‘we’re trying to make it, too’ and wanted him out, but he had his body guard beat them up.

  42. 61n61 January 6, 2014 at 6:19 am - Reply

    The most celebrated Yankee of all time? George Herman Ruth ring a bell? Lou “The Iron Man” Gehrig? Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio? Mickey was a uniquely gifted baseball player who could hit & hit for power from both sides of the plate and could run as fast as any baseball player alive, among other things, but unfortunately, he blew out his right knee on the drain cover in right-center field at the Old Stadium in game 2 of the 1951 world series & pretty much had to learn to play with it that way for the rest of his career. Mantle was a guy who was always struggling to stay on the field as he was frequently injured, & struggled to live up to the unfair hype that he was the next Ruth, Gehrig, & DiMaggio all rolled into one. No question his drinking didn’t help him, but I’d lay you solid odds his liver was destroyed as much from all the antibiotics and painkillers he took as from the bottle. Another huge blow to Mickey was the fact his dad passed in the off-season following his rookie year, & The Mick could no longer look to him for guidance and support, something a young kid from the sticks in Oklahoma could have used as he endeavored to adjust to the life of a big league ballplayer playing in the big city. To this day, Mickey’s easily my favorite ballplayer, but there’s always the wistful feeling of what he might have accomplished had he been able to keep himself on the field & remain healthy throughout his career.

  43. klear101 January 6, 2014 at 5:33 am - Reply

    Hmmm… “Alcohol Addict”… Someone should come up with a word to describe this syndrome.

    • BarryTheMuslim January 14, 2014 at 4:17 pm - Reply

      It’s called being a drunk, and an alcoholic.

      • Pete2 February 3, 2014 at 2:41 am - Reply

        Well, it’s not that simple. One become an alcoholic by addiction to alcohol, and is not necessarily a drunk. Some alcoholic never appear drunk, especially after years of addiction. An alcoholic remains alcoholic even after years of being sober, the addiction can kick in again with a single glass. Finally, many of us are alcoholic without knowing it, usually self-admission is one of the first step to rehabilitation.

        • Clif February 13, 2014 at 3:07 am -

          That all sounds good in meetings, but to sober people, alcoholics are a bunch of drunkards, who could care less about anyone else but themselves. They pretend that they love their families, but they spend their family’s future on booze, by not earning as well as they could if sober, by literally wasting money getting loaded, and by emotionally harming their spouses and children. It doesn’t matter what others think they look like; drunk, not drunk. They are all losers. So tell yourself it’s a disease to make yourself feel like the victim all you want: the fact is, alcohol addicts are a bunch of drunks. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it’s an alcoholic telling others how much of an expert he is on the subject of addiction. Keep that crap to yourself. You obviously object to dismissively being called a drunk. Well, you became one by choice. Deal with it.

        • bruce549 February 13, 2014 at 3:32 pm -

          Sorry about your Daddy.

        • Steve Berger June 22, 2014 at 7:50 am -

          I don’t have a Daddy. What’s your point?

        • Brian_in_Recovery February 13, 2014 at 10:18 pm -

          Clif, you’ve obviously been hurt by people with active alcoholism, and that’s too bad. I suspect you do not understand anything about addiction because your entire premise is based on an assumption that people active in their addictions choose to do all of these things rationally. I can assure you that isn’t the case but if you haven’t witnessed a lot of people in recovery you probably don’t have the experience or capacity to understand. Your reaction is exactly why Alcoholics Anonymous is “Anonymous”. The funny thing is, there are probably many people that you respect and love and think are totally together as people who are actually addicts in recovery. There’s a lot more of us out there than you’d ever think. But, these people would likely never open up to you and mention their recovery because of your opinions. And, you can call me a drunk if you like (even though I haven’t been in nearly 6 years) – because I am now responsible for my actions and what others think of me is no longer my problem to worry about.

        • ajmcgill February 17, 2014 at 3:33 am -

          Bravo. It is very hard for some to understand that being an alcoholic is no more a choice than being a drug addict or an anorexic. I didn’t choose to become an alcoholic, I didn’t choose to spend years drinking to fill up an emptiness inside that instead became bigger by the very thing I was using to fill it. Thankfully, I woke up one day and said “I need help” and made an appointment that very day. I have been sober for 15 years and although the realization of my problem did not magically make my life better, I worked hard from that day on to make my life better and I am still working every day to make sure that I never again, fall into a trap of drugs or alcohol or any kind of addiction. Yes, I am an alcoholic, a sober one and I’ve been sober for 15 years and I am so very thankful every day that I am no longer drinking.

        • Hank Seiter March 20, 2014 at 1:16 pm -

          Of course you didn’t “choose” to be a “drunk”, but you did choose to drink. Nobody put a gun to your head any more than someone put a gun to the head of some kid who like mutilated and killing pets and then became a serial killer.
          Quit with all the PC garbage trying to make yourself feel better about your bad choices. Put on your big boy panties and admit you were a drunk, a bad drunk and now you’ve seen the error of your way and how you’ve hurt the people closest to you. And that’s the beauty of true repentance (turning away from bad habits and sin), you do get a second chance but it doesn’t necessarily make you a better person. So cut the defensive self-righteousness and deal with the reality even after you’ve sobered up your still a very flawed person … we are all very flawed. False humility is simply another arrogance.

        • Voice of Virtue - Robespierre May 16, 2014 at 5:53 pm -

          this is a stupid argument. that’s like saying blaming anyone that gets sick and dies because they didn’t know they were allergic to a particular food or product. alcoholics don’t know they’re alcoholics BEFORE they take their first drink, dummy.

        • Robert E. Cruz May 24, 2014 at 6:11 am -

          Hank Seiter: SHOVE YOUR RELIGIOUS DRIBBLE! You obviously have no understanding on the subject and no sense trying to explain it it you.
          Keep the Bible thumping hogwash to yourself.

        • Chuck Doubleoseven November 21, 2014 at 11:11 am -

          I guarantee the Bible alone has done more for alcoholics then any stupid program or family member.

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:35 pm -

          It sure is a lot more fun to blame people for their misfortunes than it is to learn about their disease. That takes time and effort, and intellect. Maybe you’re saving your brain capacity for something else?

        • bob March 24, 2015 at 3:14 am -

          It is your fault if you won’t stand up to peers who try to get you to do things you don’t want to

        • k q May 27, 2014 at 11:40 am -

          Kank, You must be a really shallow . self centered. prick. Everyone has faults. I am willing to bet yours is an overblown sense of self worth

        • shootmyownfood June 18, 2014 at 8:40 pm -

          Sin? Are you some sort of religious person? I, as a non-confrontational atheist, don’t believe in the concept of sin, hence your argument has no chance of influencing me. Since there is no “sin,” what do you expect people to “repent” about? Perhaps you should take a biology class.

        • smuldoon July 9, 2014 at 10:53 pm -

          Dope.

        • Joy Smothers December 15, 2014 at 11:17 pm -

          I hate this guy

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:34 pm -

          Alcoholism IS a drug addiction. Congratulations on your sobriety.

        • Scott550 May 31, 2014 at 7:35 pm -

          It’s 100% ENTIRELY a choice. Period. There is ZERO research proving otherwise. Zero. Do not make up facts. It’s as much a choice as to NOT drink. Duh.

        • da2 June 3, 2014 at 6:00 pm -

          “There is ZERO research proving otherwise” Who told you that, Rush Limbaugh? Put down your Rush Limbaugh bobble-head doll and do some research. There is a VAST amount of literature attesting to the FACT of alcohol ADDICTION. Start with Google Scholar. But I’ll predict your response: “Oh that’s just liberal science.”

        • bob March 24, 2015 at 3:15 am -

          So you’re saying you can’t say no to some jocks who beg you to drink with them, you plead and whimper that its kewl to drink and do drugs. I can, its easy

        • ScottandShannon Staudt October 12, 2015 at 9:45 am -

          Well I am an ex addict but I CAN spell cool. So I have that going for me.

        • shootmyownfood June 18, 2014 at 8:42 pm -

          Silly. Not everyone who drinks becomes an alcoholic. Not all active alcoholics are stereotypical drunks; there are many whom you would never suspect. Also, once an addict, always an addict, whether you are using or not. This isn’t just my opinion; it is reiterated throughout all the research on alcoholism.

        • Patrick November 22, 2014 at 1:16 am -

          You are so wrong… so very, very wrong.

        • Joy December 15, 2014 at 11:22 pm -

          Scott, you are a superficial prick who has NO idea about addiction and what it does to people!! Good for you that you don’t have to deal…treat those who are dealing with kindness…don’t be such a dapper prick. You have no idea what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoesshoes..you are obviously not very bright. Its okay:)

        • ScottandShannon Staudt October 12, 2015 at 9:44 am -

          We have a Google psychologist expert here folks! Send us a post card from your parents basement.

        • MikeG July 13, 2014 at 4:37 pm -

          Sweet. Last Memorial Day was my 30th anniversary in AA. I am a recovering alcoholic and co-dependent, an adult child of an alcoholic. There was a day when I needed to be drunk at 10AM to get through the day. I was in terrible pain, and a terrible emptiness. One day someone said to me “Do you think you have a problem?” And shortly after that, I agreed that I did have a problem. I got into recovery and today, years later, I am empty no longer, and have a deep and abiding peace in my heart. I also gave up smoking 2 packs a day and am so happy for that chance meeting with the delivery man who asked if I thought I had a problem. Thank You God for all your little coincidences and chance meetings that are so often life changing and healing. And thank you to all the folks who fed me and walked with me along the way. I love you all.

        • Danalexa August 15, 2014 at 8:42 am -

          Congratulations & continued sobriety. I know a woman who is an alcoholic. She finally admitted it about a year ago. Her addiction has gotten in the way of being a good mother to her four children to the degree that one is in prison & the other (15 yrs old) is at risk of the same fate due to her inability to parent effectively. I grew up with an alcoholic stepfather, but a high functioning (sort of) mother who made certain I reached my potential. It is so sad to see a young woman (at 34) totally defeated, tired, frustrated, and full of rage. That admission to a problem came a year ago & last month she started counseling. Let’s hope/pray that she will be able to follow your path. Thank you for sharing your story…it gives me some hope for this emotionally impoverished family.

        • bob March 24, 2015 at 3:13 am -

          I pretty much disagree with your claim because I grew up in Germany. At about 15-16 we all started drinking and smoking because it was allowed and it was cool, said the cool guys. Pretty soon guys crashed with their mopeds, vomited down their girlfriends cleavage by mistake, fell off the chair in the bar, too drunk to see, and it was all in good fun, said the culture.

          Every excuse we had to drink another one. Go on vacation, leave a case for the guys, etc. It was legal to drink on the job. Concrete walls and parking garages all reeked from cool guys relieving themselves against/in them. I worked with old timers who were functioning whose hand shook before they exed their first bottle in the morning.

          I went to a rock concert with a friend who was so drunk by the time he got there, and passed out in his own juices in front of the port-a-potties long before any music even started. But he swore the concert was so totally cool afterward. What a waste of money.

          Anyway I got so unbelievably bored sitting around with generic drunks, I decided to say “No” to all the cool guys and their cool ways. And if some cool guy decided he had to try and convince me I needed to drink, after all, I educated him. I lost one or two “friends” that way, but found I got along just fine without them.

          I even managed to give the seat in a car to another friend once because I wasn’t interested in going to the movies and then having a few afterward again.

          On the way home the driver drove too fast, crashed, the guy in my seat was ejected and died on the scene. The driver was legally drunk, and we all lived in a small village, so it was fun to watch the fallout.

          My point is nobody is really forced to drink, they can all help it, and say “No”

        • catnap March 17, 2014 at 6:53 pm -

          That’s my problem with alcoholism and many alcoholics. I grew up with a dad who tried to drink my state dry. He embarrassed and humiliated me during my formative years and didn’t quit until threatened with his medical license. WE, his family, weren’t important enough. I put up with this crap for 27 years. Yes, I love my dad. BUT I will NEVER call alcoholism a ‘disease’. It’s an addiction. Many want to pretty it up by calling it a ‘disease’. CANCER is a disease. Not alcohol/drug addiction. And he NEVER apologized to us. NEVER. He had the attitude that he had quit drinking and NOW was responsible for his actions. Well, that’s great, but it sure as hell didn’t help me and my siblings who had to put up with his actions at the time. Living in a home where there is an ‘active’ alcoholic is something you couldn’t understand. So enjoy your anonymity. Realize you and others ARE selfish. And self-absorbed.

        • oregonwheel May 15, 2014 at 7:28 pm -

          Right. Alcoholism is an addiction, not a disease. Depression that causes alcohol abuse may be a circumstantial disorder.

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:39 pm -

          Where did you go to medical school?

        • oregonwheel July 13, 2014 at 5:36 pm -

          community college

        • problem->solution May 31, 2014 at 1:44 pm -

          In what sense is alcoholism an addiction? Is alcoholism always an addiction? Can one abuse alcohol without being an “alcoholic?” Can one be an alcoholic without being “addicted?” What is the “circumstantial disorder” of which you write — the depression, or the alcohol abuse, or the two of them together? Is that “circumstantial disorder” coded in the DSM? Is alcoholism coded in the DSM? Is addiction? Are they coded the same, or differently, and why?

          I was a bad, raging alcoholic who wrecked my life and injured those closest to me. I was a pack-a-day smoker for over 20 years, having quit a few years ago. I still feel like I can’t get by without a few cups of coffee through the day. All the same thing?

        • Helster June 12, 2014 at 8:10 pm -

          Alcoholism is one manifestation of the disease of addiction. Sex, gambling, overeating, video gaming, smoking, etc. are others when problematic. How do you know something is an addiction? If you experience anxiety when deprived of it or other withdrawal symptoms, that’s one clue. Continuing to engage in the behavior despite negative consequences is another.

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:38 pm -

          Addiction IS a disease, the brain is rewired…permanently. Some people are more genetically susceptible. While we can be angry with the behavior, we do everyone a disservice by blaming.

        • DamnItsHot May 30, 2014 at 2:02 pm -

          Alcoholism is a disease. Not unlike other diseases some are very good at managing the “symptoms” and thus hiding the problem at work and in the general public. I have a friend (44 yrs now) and he has been addicted to alcohol for 42 years of those. We spent and spend many days together doing all kinds of stuff — none of it related to alcohol. Everything is “normal” but he realizes now (for the past 20 years) that he can not have a beer or a cocktail. He literally can’t stop after one drink. He is night and day. After 7 (yes seven) DUI’s/DWI’s in to neighboring states and a lot of money to the legal system, a few months in the pokey and a failed marriage he has gotten medical help. He is happily married with a daughter that is about 7 or 8 and a successful business owner. He now with help from the medical community, attendance to AA meetings everyday for several years he is stable. Of course that last case hanging over him could be part of the motivation to quit drinking to avoid many years in the joint. He is doing the best he can in his recovery but will always have this hanging over him — one brew and he’s back in the toilet, but he finally realizes this is a disease that must be managed not unlike a diabetic’s diet. Sugar can kill them. BTW: he inherited this from his father who died at the age of 89, a very successful business owner himself — he did a good job with work but passed this on to his two youngest kids and was an enabler as he always came running to his kids call for help out of trouble except for getting the helping them avoid the disease.

          See the Nat Inst on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism at http://www.niaaa.nih.
          gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/alcohol-use-disorders

        • problem->solution May 31, 2014 at 1:36 pm -

          I agree with you, catnap, on many fronts. And, I have been sober for 12 years. And, I have two kids – in their early 20s now – who experienced first-hand my worst. I’d just like to suggest to you that “alcoholism” and “addiction” may not always be synonymous. But I don’t think that is relevant to your point, and it is certainly irrelevant to your pain. And, I agree that I was (and still can be, although I don’t want to be and I believe I am getting better) both selfish and self-absorbed.

        • Sarah75 June 3, 2014 at 5:28 pm -

          A LOT of alcoholics know very well of the pain of growing up in an addicted household. You didn’t become an alcoholic… bravo. Congratulations. 50% of children raised in a household with at least one addicted parent will become some variety of an addict themselves. Addiction IS a disease. It is a physiological change in the brain that is often just laying in wait for the susceptible person to consume a mood altering substance. Your obvious bitterness about pain inflicted upon you doesn’t change the fact that it is a disease. Scientifically proven over and over and over again. End of argument.

        • Helster June 12, 2014 at 8:21 pm -

          You are understandably hurt, but you are very wrong. Alcoholism is a disease; better minds than yours and mine have demonstrated so. When you talk about life in a home with an active alcoholic, you should realize, the active alcoholic is also one of those suffering. I grew up in such a home and I am also a recovering alcoholic now, myself. My dad never got to experience recovery, sadly for HIM, not for me or my mother or siblings. Alcoholism hurts the alcoholic first, although, being the “disease that tells you you don’t have it,” the hurt usually extends to those around us before we get into recovery–if ever. You are also suffering from the family disease of alcoholism, although you probably think that’s absurd. Seek help for yourself and enjoy the rest of your life. Otherwise you are still allowing your father’s alcoholism to affect your life.

        • Kelly Knapp July 3, 2014 at 2:32 am -

          Wow…very well said!!

        • bob March 24, 2015 at 3:18 am -

          Nah, we’re supposed to give them yet more pity, more understanding, they need to remain the center of attention, the center of the universe, we’re obliged to stop being so selfish and get back to thinking about their welfare, more, more, more.

        • ScottandShannon Staudt October 12, 2015 at 9:52 am -

          You have NO idea what you are talking about, our brains pleasure centers are hardwired to turn what you would think of a “buzz” in to a mind blowing high that NEVER SHUTS UP after the first drink, long before we relies something is wrong. Not even being sober for years- it is still there. It is a genetic disease, proven by geneticists. You are self absorbed to think that you are such a special snowflake that you know everything there is to know about psychology of addiction. I am sorry your dad was an A$$hole, but you have the choice to move on and get over it. You want us to stop being self absorbed? You think you are the only one with a tragic and crappy childhood? FFS. At least a group of AAers can work through their issues, then there are the sanctimonious “sober” people who are viciously addicted to the woe is me complex. You guys are about as useful to society as a poopy flavored lollipop. As IF you were the only person in the history of the universe to feel pain or disappointment or embarrassment. I’d recommend getting over your issues before judging other people on theirs.

        • catnap October 20, 2015 at 3:07 am -

          He wasn’t always so. He quit drinking and became a pretty good guy. An you don’t know me so your assumptions are bogus. I know many had rough childhoods and mine was easier than many. I never said it wasn’t. I’d explain further, but you wouldn’t listen anyway. I DO have an idea what I’m talking about; I’ve been a nurse in a substance abuse center for several years. Oh, by the way, it would be ‘realize’ not relies. Just a FYI. As for “getting over my issues before judging other people on theirs” – you might want to take your own advice.

        • ScottandShannon Staudt October 23, 2015 at 10:33 pm -

          I have been sober for several years and have a support system that doesn’t shame me for my past failures. I’m glad your dad got help but you don’t get to talk about how selfish we are, when you you haven’t for a moment stepped in to our shoes concerning fighting something as strong as an addiction. Being a nurse in no way equates you to understanding the HELL that is going on inside our minds and bodies– you are seeing the situation through the safety of a professional window. As for rehab centers- my experience lends me to believe they are all most always scams devoted to working on very desperate people. I’ve been sober for years – but the facility I poured my money into kicked people out regularly so they could fill their beds with rich patrons. And the head of the facility was arrested mid group session for pocketing client money and taking their property when they were kicked out while at work. I’ve been the addict and the child of an addict so I know both sides to this story and I also know that I don’t get to judge the addict, I can chose to accept them or walk away from them but I don’t get to call them names. I was born to a mother who was so drunk when she gave birth they had to cut me out because he body gave up mid push. I was truly born an addict. Then I was abandoned at the age of 2, dropped off at a sitters and she never came back. I was adopted by wealthy people who had addiction and violence issues. But I chose to move forward and not to blame them and to realize for gods sakes they are only other human just trying to make it through the day like I am. Forgiveness is KEY and I have. I do not chose to remember my birth mother as “selfish” she was devoted enough to carry me into this world and leave me for someone else to care for! I chose not to judge my mother for drinking- her father drank and died from it, it is what she knew until she realized her problem and changed it. I do not judge my father for being violent- his father was violent, it is all he understood until he learned through forgiveness (of having a child that listened and forgave) to use words and conversation and love late in his life. You don’t get to label all of us selfish you don’t know who we are, you don’t know our stories all you have is your warped perception through feeling victimized by a father you were angry at. If you are allowed to call all alcoholics selfish then I can call all sober people sanctimonious whiners.

        • ScottandShannon Staudt October 24, 2015 at 12:04 am -

          Being a nurse allows you to experience addiction from behind a window of professionalism, you are not in the mind of the addict that is experiencing acute withdrawal, hallucinations, pain, fear, frustration etc. You are not in the body of an addict who is going through seizures and shakes. If I was in your facility and knew that you just labeled all addicts as selfish I would want a different nurse. I have been an addict as well as the child of an addict – SO….I know both sides of this experience. Why is it when people are called out on their crap they automatically resort to grammar Nazi behaviors? You don’t know all of us- I am stronger than you can imagine and have survived more than you could imagine and I still forgive my parents and I know they weren’t selfish, they were just struggling to make life work and it wasn’t working. Funny twist, they have healed and so have I and we have an amazing relationship. Of course we had to ditch the labels and the guilt trips and leave the past where it belonged. The most selfish thing a person can do – it hold the past over someone else’s head, and ESPECIALLY a group of people you have NEVER met but we learn that in the 12 steps. As for facilities, a great deal of them are scammy. The one I was in kicked out poor people every time a wealthy person needed a bed. Then one day in group the police came in and arrested the head of the facility for stealing from clients and pocketing their money. In another facility I worked at, the nurse was busted for stealing pain killers from psychiatric patients – stole 3 months worth and blamed the patient, went as far as to make them pay for replacements and treated them as if they had lost the meds. When she had the only pass code to the safe…and was clearly high at work…I’m not super impressed with psychiatric or addiction counseling nurses or any of the staff in these facilities- they often take advantage of very vulnerable and desperate people.

        • Winterstorm April 10, 2014 at 12:55 am -

          I’ve been sober 7 months now. I went “back out” in 1996 after being Dry 12 years. Dry, not sober. I’m very happy now. I’m 55 and not afraid anymore.

          Glad you shared Brian. We know hell n back, you and those like us. That makes us Winners.

          I also grew up with an alcoholic dad. It was very rough and he died at age 46. For me it wasn’t an addiction. It was hell. It was real hell. I know an alcoholic at home can destroy the family; this was a nightmare.

          But those who survive are obligated to let those in need know there is a way out. An Irish Pastor, Ian Maclaren, once wrote: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

          You would do well to let that soak in, Cliff.

        • j April 16, 2014 at 3:10 am -

          OUTSTANDING BRIAN…I am VERY PROUD of those nearly six years you have…I recently celebrated my 17th year of Sobriety. You are absolutely 100 percent correct…Clif’s reaction/response is PRECISELY the reason that the Word ‘Anonymous’ is in Alcoholics Anonymous…those who have been harmed by the alcoholics behavior are understandably bitter and perhaps even so damaged by their experiences with that misfortune, that they themselves could benefit from some form of Recovery…and that is what Alanon is ALL ABOUT. That program is responsible for the literal transformation of individual Lives as well as relationships and marriages. “Detachment with Love” is their mantra, and the first person on the list in Alanon to take care of, is YOU. It is impossible for ANYone involved with a real alcoholic, to not be affected in the most negative way possible by that relationship…Alanon carries the POTENTIAL of being an INVALUABLE tool for those who have been damaged, in whatever way, by the alcoholic ….no, it is NOT a device for the battered woman to get help “throwing the bum out”, but it can help that woman, (or man), heal from the inside out, in a HEALTHY, POSITIVE manner…and if dissolution of a relationship is what must happen, then so be it…and I say that from the perspective of an alcoholic in AA who has also been on the receiving end of being a family member of an alcoholic…my Dad…I have benefited not only from AA but from Alanon as well, and so my Words come from the perspective of having walked on BOTH sides of that street…

          Only someone with experiential knowledge, who either is still in the hell of active addiction, or has been there and somehow miraculously been freed from its madness…either as the alcoholic or as close companion or family member, fully understands what alcoholism is all about…and the scars and memories that will never fade from those so badly beaten down by this horrible disease, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic, should never be dismissed as irrelevant or “unimportant” or meaningless…its far, FAR from it…and only the MOST ignorant, would EVER think anything less.

          Thanks for listening, and thank YOU, for my Sobriety. God Bless.

        • agentkel May 5, 2014 at 6:30 pm -

          Bravo Brian…not an addict, never have been. I did have an ex that was/is one. I lived with it and had to deal with him because of the kids even after I remarried a non drinking man(not that it matters, it’s just so different). And you’re right…you can just feel the hurt in Clif’s word. Looks like he may have a few issues to deal with. Bless him and bless you. Keep up the good work

        • melsbey9 May 16, 2014 at 3:30 pm -

          Thank you Brian. It is easy to have a closed mind. Especially on the internet, hiding behind our keyboards, taking jabs at people we will never meet. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect all of us. I am an addict. A clean and sober one. I am grateful to be one. Not because I got to put my loved ones through hell, but to come out the other side with all of us stronger and smarter. At the ripe age of 24, I know to accept everyone the way they are. To not be quick to judge or to speak, because you never know the internal battle someone is fighting. How much your words can affect someone for better or worse. Clif’s words affected me. They briefly enraged me, in fact. But I am thankful for it. Reminded me that not everyone out there is accepting and educated of this disease. But I couldn’t have said it any better myself. So thank you 🙂 and congrats on your 6 years!

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:41 pm -

          Beautifully put, Melsbey9.

        • GaryG May 29, 2014 at 10:56 pm -

          Thank you. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

        • fagsrstupido June 21, 2014 at 8:43 pm -

          noooo cliff is just ‘ Right on”

        • Danalexa August 15, 2014 at 9:01 am -

          Cliff is right on. Right on target for where he is in dealing with the pain he has experience living with an alcoholic. He is clearly angry/enraged by his past. Right now this is all he can do & the only way he can be. When being angry and in pain no longer makes him feel like he has gotten his pound of flesh from his dad, he will be ready to take a deeper look at his feelings. Eventually, he may come to peace with his experiences/memories/fear/anger to the point where he has more clarity about what was taking place in his life, why, & move on.

        • waKE up/truth July 29, 2014 at 8:44 pm -

          no one wakes up one day and says oh i will just be an alchoholic. This will make all my problems go away. Oh and I will hurt as many people as I can. Especially my family. Really, it is life we all have our faults. Some of us are alcoholics and others are just miserable people who want everyone around them just as miserable. Some people are just monsters that haunt others long after they are gone. So if someone is trying to face themselves and their addiction “that is a big deal” It is the hardest thing a person can do.

        • Danalexa August 15, 2014 at 8:15 am -

          You’ve fought a long hard fight with your addicted self. You did something that took tremendous courage. Continued sobriety, support, & love.

        • ScottandShannon Staudt October 12, 2015 at 9:38 am -

          Your being too nice- the guy is a jerk. Who probably has his own horde of dark dank secrets to hide. People can be just addicted to hate and holding a grudge as they can be to alcohol or drugs- hate and anger just happens to be his drugs of choice. Don’t feed his ego, don’t be an enabler- he needs to let it go and grow up sometime. SO WHAT he may have been negatively effected by alcohol or whatever, he is the one who chooses not to drop that bag, just like a dry drunk chooses not to let go fully. He doesn’t get to sit here and tell us how bad our sins are when he can’t even deal with his own issues. Sounds like Cliff needs to get himself to a 12 step meeting for whiners anon asap. * Check out his page- he is a bully, he pushes and picks on totally anonymous strangers all over the internet- Way to be a tough guy, smarty pants. You sure do have you ***t together WAY more than us sober folks. SMH* What an idiot. Get yourself some help, your a HOT MESS fool!

        • Debi in Richmond February 13, 2014 at 11:14 pm -

          My Dear Child,
          Not Sure if Alanon or AA,
          But, you do need a “Program”

        • Alan Barnes February 14, 2014 at 12:14 am -

          The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? Alcoholics go to meetings!

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:42 pm -

          If that was supposed to be funny, you missed the mark. The death, destruction and heartache this disease causes is enormous, and sadly all too common. Your words hurt.

        • BeenThereandStillLivingIt February 14, 2014 at 8:29 pm -

          Dear Clif and Brian_in_Recovery, Each of you have very valid points. The pain and anger that result in the labeling and name calling ARE agonizing, sometimes crippling feelings that leave friends and family of an alcoholic emotionally drained. It is exceedingly difficult to stay close to that person. It is equally mentally taxing to consider leaving that person. I am the 20yrs + wife of an alcoholic. My husband came from an alcoholic family: paternal grandfather, maternal grandmother, and mother. All of these people had sad, turbulent relationships. All of them had innocent family and friends that suffered “collateral damage” because of the addiction; and even after being institutionalized, or going through a 12-step program, or ‘graduating’ an approved re-hab program, ‘the monster’ was still present, still alive. Is alcoholism a ‘disease’ or an inherited predisposition? The battlefield of question is littered with reports, statistics, and uber-opinions; but the bottom line is, unless you are born with a body that is infused with the alcoholic toxins your mother has ingested, and passed directly onto/into you, none of us are “alcoholics” or “addicts” when we first enter this world…a conscious choice is made to open that first bottle or can and a choice is made to continue to do so no matter who is harmed along the way. Other “issues” can/do create a mental circumstance for alcohol to be used as an escape or a sedative; and until those issues are discovered, addressed and/or resolved, it is likely the addictive behavior will continue as will the hurt and harm to oneself and ones family and friends. My husband’s father never touched a drop of alcohol due to his own father’s negative life of alcoholism. My husband however, followed in his mother’s footsteps and began drinking as a mid-teen…he was a ‘functioning’ alcoholic that made a valiant attempt to hide his using from the public. It didn’t matter to him that he was devastating our family and ruining his own health. After our son was born, my husband’s alcohol consumption increased and he would regularly state that he KNEW our son would not become an alcoholic because of HIM and that our son would make the choice to be “clean and sober” just like my father-in-law. My son both loves and detests my husband. My prayer is for you Clif to begin healing from your hurt; and for you Brian_in_Recovery, to stay focused in your endeavor to break free and remain free from your addiction.

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:45 pm -

          Sorry, the data do not support your position. Your husband’s family should be a clue. Alcoholism has been proven to have a genetic component. Alcoholics literally have different brain wiring. Please do some research.

        • Lisa Maria Colombotti-Longo March 16, 2014 at 7:53 pm -

          Agreed!!!

        • texasjo March 21, 2014 at 10:28 pm -

          It’s not a choice. I had a girlfriend who could get high on one-half a glass of wine. My husband who was alcoholic and I didn’t know for two years, would go to sleep. But, he and his brothers could drink a whole bottle! I found out by having people at our house and watched him change into another person, what it really did to him.

          . It seems all the men in his family, including his father were alcoholic! Something in the genes. I divorced him, but I still liked him. He went to AA finally after almost dying in his chair (his grown daughter found him and took him to hospital) but it just didn’t take. He would be sober for maybe 9 mos. then go back, and it’s a progressive disease and take up where it left off. He died naked, on the floor of his apt. He came from a very prominent family and he was my best friend when sober. His father, got off it when the Christian Science mother demanded it. He was a very noteworthy person and they had celebrities at their beach houses in Florida. If you go to Alanon you will find out quite a bit. And, I loved the open AA Meetings where they told their stories. They are so brave and seem to keep it under control, but tell us it’s a day by day thing. The sponsors really help. I’m proud to say I got one of my neighbors to get her husband there (or she would leave). Not only did it take with him, he’s a sponsor, and looking wonderful.

        • jv April 10, 2014 at 12:42 am -

          I am not nor have a ever been addicted to drugs or alcohol. But I am a psychologist and I was in the military. I have known alcoholics who don’t drink and drive. I know alcoholics that never missed a day of work. Alcoholism isn’t black and white and there are different reasons people turn to alcohol and each case is different. I don’t make excuses for people dealing with addiction it was a choice. Not all these people are losers but when a soldier discovers that if he starts drinking it helps him forget what he saw I call that a problem, a person who needs help.

        • PhDiva April 19, 2014 at 8:37 am -

          Cliff: Speak for yourself. Do not associate all sober people with your nasty, shallow, and judgmental stance. I am a sober person who does not drink alcohol at all, and I never have. I have been hurt and angered deeply by an alcoholic parent. The alcoholism of others has taken a terrible toll on my life. Yet, I never describe alcoholics as “a bunch of drunkards,” drunks, or losers. I never even use the word drunk.

          You are nasty and insensitive. Many sober people are not. I am disturbed by alcoholics and choose not to have them in my life. That does not mean that I have to insult and demean them. From a distance, I wish them well in their recovery. Why can’t you do the same.

        • CrystalTiger June 19, 2014 at 3:47 am -

          My father, an alcoholic for as long as I can remember (and I will be 40 in Aug), once told me the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is alcoholics go to AA because they realize that they have a problem. I’ve been blessed to avoid an addiction to alcohol, and even though I have anger issues, amongst other issues, from growing up with an abusive alcoholic, or as they said in the old days “a mean drunk”, I have nothing but compassion for those suffering from the effects of a crippling addiction. (ALL of them! The addict AND their loved ones) If you can’t have compassion, then have some constraint.

        • Al-anon mom April 20, 2014 at 3:52 pm -

          Alcoholics who find sobriety and learn to manage their addiction are some of the most generous caring people on the planet. My 27 year old son is an alcoholic with three years of sobriety. Through working a 12 step program he has matured into an amazing young man who is now sharing his journey and helping other men in their recovery. He has a level of empathy that can only come from having lived the experience. Anyone feeling like Pete2 should get themselves to an Alanon meeting ASAP. Your reply is filled with hate and disappointment, Whatever you are dealing with, it is your choice if you let it destroy you. Get help, you can’t blame others for your misery. It’s your life, get control of it.

        • catbell7cat May 26, 2014 at 6:43 am -

          my ex was alcoholic but he was never violent – but he did drive while intoxicated so I was always worried – finally gave him an ultimatim -either go to treatment or I’m leaving – he refused so I was gone — and yes he died of cirrosis – when he was 70 years old

        • Voice of Virtue - Robespierre May 16, 2014 at 5:50 pm -

          you obviously have been hurt by an alcoholic, and so your anger literally wreaks throughout your diatribe. unfortunately for you, scientists have already identified alcoholism as AN ACTUAL DISEASE that distorts the person’s brain. if alcoholism was just a case of being a “lazy drunk”, then please explain how you have a greater likelihood of becoming an alcoholic if one or both of your parents were?!? smh.

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:49 pm -

          Oh, you and your logic!

        • CrystalTiger June 19, 2014 at 4:23 pm -

          How dare you use rationality and logic on a message board! You must be new to this! (wink wink)

        • Steve Berger May 21, 2014 at 4:02 pm -

          Right. I was a drunk. I chose to drink. Then I chose Not to drink. Disease is an excuse by AA to make their loser members feel better and to gain more loser customers. I am 100% sober today. I get 100% of the credit. I did it myself! Not BS meetings or some program. One chooses their own path. Thank You.

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:49 pm -

          It is the medical community which decided to categorize alcoholism as a disease, not AA. Many people who attend AA are not true addicts. They are heavy drinkers. There is a huge difference. Addicts work with a rewired brain, and a genetic predisposition to addiction. You sound like a once-heavy drinker who enjoys being bitter and superior. I am very sorry for you.

        • Steve Berger June 22, 2014 at 7:50 am -

          AA rejects the term Heavy Drinkers as do doctors. Heavy drinkers are alcoholics. No I am not bitter or superior. AA has a 5% success rate. You happy with that. I am pissed that nobody challenges them on that. By the way I was in rehab before and was physically addicted. That would be more than a “heavy drinker” I would say.

        • wake up/real July 29, 2014 at 8:59 pm -

          i agree. people should not dog out others for trying to better their lives. If it works for one and not the other than great for the on that it worked for. AA is work. picking up the pieces of you life in front others is work.

        • shootmyownfood June 18, 2014 at 8:50 pm -

          Not everyone is blessed with your mental fortitude, obviously.

        • Mike Connor May 28, 2014 at 6:58 pm -

          Everybody has issues Cliff. You and me are A holes and that ain’t a disease either.

        • Name June 13, 2014 at 4:42 pm -

          Sounds like you could use an Al-Anon meeting. Al-Anon helps anyone affected by someone else’s drinking.

        • Patty July 4, 2014 at 11:17 pm -

          I am a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. I have been clean for 14 years after being on since I was a child of 11 or 12 when my mom started me on cross tops and black beauty’s so I would be able to work harder in the fruit fields. I say recovering because you are always an addict and it would be so easy for me to relapse. I was introduced to marijuana by the age of 13 and was smoking it with my mom on a daily basis. This was my life as a child while growing up at home with my family, I never chose to become addicted to anything, but when I left home I was an addict. I fought with the addiction for many years until my son was 10 and I woke up and managed to clean myself up. I am now 53 and my children are grown, they are drug/alcohol free and I am proud of them, I am also proud of myself for beating my addiction. I am telling you this Clif so you can understand some of us had no choice in how we were raised and until you walk in someone’s footsteps you should not judge them as that is God’s place not yours.

        • Lynn July 17, 2014 at 10:37 pm -

          angry much?

        • Bruce1964 July 20, 2014 at 7:43 am -

          Most people with substance abuse–statistically proven–have some form of mental illness that they are trying to self medicate. Your moralistic rant on alcoholics admittedly addresses a lot of the problems that alcoholics cause to themselves and others; but you seem to be woefully ignorant of what most of the medical and scientific community now knows to be true as to the underlying causes.

        • Erik Denning August 1, 2014 at 1:12 am -

          Tough guy. Helpful.

        • ClifsnIdiot December 14, 2014 at 2:25 pm -

          lol, Clif is an idiot. Was probably abused as a child by an alcoholic parent.

        • ScottandShannon Staudt October 12, 2015 at 9:31 am -

          Yeah thats what it is. A bunch of mean people purposely out to hurt YOU. LMAO – it is a genetic issue and no one decided to become and alcoholic- That is like saying people choose to get cancer or leukemia. Do yourself a favor, jump down off your self righteous pedestal and get educated about what you obviously know NOTHING about. You talking out your a$$ about a disease you haven’t had time to research fully, makes you a loser.

        • JS October 23, 2015 at 5:55 pm -

          Clifford, I try and not define a person by ignorance. When I am not polished on a subject it’s good to read up and understand before throwing punches.

        • Gail Pail December 4, 2015 at 7:10 am -

          Cliff. Your statement is simply not true nor fair and by the way you speak, I am guessing you have a lot of pain in your life to be so full of hate. May you find a way to rid yourself of your resentments towards those that “choose” to be addicts. Do we get mad at cancer patients for being sick? Alcoholics have a disease and it is people like you who are the reason why many alcoholics in recovery remain anonymous.

        • Janet Lurker February 18, 2014 at 8:49 pm -

          Very true Pete. There are five types of alcoholics. Their is a lot more involved than jus t being a so called ‘drunk’. Brain chemistry has a lot to do with it. I applaud your comment.

        • GaryG May 29, 2014 at 10:54 pm -

          You are right. I’m an alcoholic. I haven’t had a drink in 2 1/2 years. I know if I have a drink, it will start all over again until I hit bottom again (if I live). So as they say in AA, meeting makers make it. That’s why I go. I don’t want to go back to not eating, the dry heaves, the sweats and the shaking. I f you are a heavy drinker (daily) you may one day cross that fine line when you will need a drink(s) just to attempt to function like a normal person. Been there, done that.

        • michael loehrer May 30, 2014 at 4:27 pm -

          Stay away from sugar. It enhances you ability to stay away from alcohol. Trust me, I know.

        • J. R. Schwarz June 2, 2014 at 5:05 pm -

          I don’t get it. If sugar “enhances you(r) ability to stay away from alcohol”, why avoid sugar?

        • CrystalTiger June 19, 2014 at 4:36 pm -

          She was saying staying away from sugar enhances your ability to stay away from alcohol. I’ve seen that in effect with my own alcoholic father. They think the reason that works is because of how alcohol breaks down in your system which is mostly into sugar.

        • sue June 7, 2015 at 2:47 am -

          I totally agree. As a 42 yr old who has drank since I was 16. I’ve went from functionally drinking everyday holding a job a raising kids to going years without touching it. But all it takes is one and I’m ready. Kept it hid for a long time.

      • moose fucker April 30, 2014 at 5:13 pm - Reply

        hell yeah

    • Billy Beatty March 30, 2014 at 6:58 pm - Reply

      There is one word. Alcoholics are drug addicts. Alcohol is the number 1 drug in the world.

    • Ben Adams April 9, 2014 at 4:29 pm - Reply

      I like it better than the original word and wish the word had never been “coined” because now when someone is addicted to something that is not alcohol, they put “oholic” at the end of it ..we say alcoholic because they are addicted to alc–OHOL. shopaholic really irks me

      • J. R. Schwarz June 2, 2014 at 5:06 pm - Reply

        I agree. Whenever I hear someone say, “I’m a foodaholic” or “I’m a chocoholic”, I wince. It is like they are mocking alcoholism.

    • tommie2tunes May 22, 2014 at 8:59 am - Reply

      dont believe the bulls&#t commercials that say….”.i was an addict but im not anymore” .theres no cure as they lead you to believe.its remission as long as you stay away from your drug of choice and yes that includes alcohol. you cannot be a full blown alcoholic and be cured. but getting sober can feel like a miracle and is as long as you dont take that first one.

      • Marianna Graham June 1, 2014 at 2:39 pm - Reply

        I don’t understand the logic behind AA’s “Hi, my name is ____and I’m an alcoholic.” I’m sure there’s a psycological reason for it, but I don’t understand it. It seems to me that saying that every day is a way to what, keep you forever tied to your past problem as a way to keep you sober?? It doesn’t make sense to me. I mean after a certain point, you’re NOT an alcoholic. Saying “Hi my name is _____and I’m an alcoholic” after being sober for 10 years????!! Can someone who actually knows the reason behind why they do that please let me know, because to me it just seems like a way to keep people in a weakened state of mind

        • shootmyownfood June 18, 2014 at 8:52 pm -

          Wrong. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, whether or not you are sober. AA members make the statement “I’m an alcoholic” to remind themselves of why they are there and that it is a lifelong condition.

        • CrystalTiger June 19, 2014 at 5:38 pm -

          It is because anyone with a true addiction, ALWAYS has that addiction even if they do not partake. All it takes is one drink, one toke, one snort, and they are right back into those old habits. There is no cure for true addiction, only ‘remission’ through abstinence.

    • ggg June 21, 2014 at 8:41 pm - Reply

      how about Lush, boozehound, sober-challenged, and Loser.

  44. Combat Veteran Seabee January 5, 2014 at 3:56 am - Reply

    It’s called “Alcohoic,” not alcohol addict, quit trying to gloss over the truth!

    • ldazzle January 8, 2014 at 2:47 am - Reply

      Alcoholic

      • Wow January 20, 2014 at 12:10 am - Reply

        why so keen on labeling others? the stigma associated with that word keeps people from getting the help they need.

    • Puckfair52 January 10, 2014 at 4:15 pm - Reply

      one is an ism which has more baggage than a troublesome medical/psychological condition
      AA offers a spiritual; treatment for an ISM a hospital might treat an addiction & possibly recommend a spiritual treatment program like AA rather than say something like :”Smart recovery”
      I have utilized the first method the spiritual one for 36 years but I’m not so smug to knock the other forms of treatment that are out there! Some people get relief from them!

    • Jacob Fox February 10, 2014 at 8:28 pm - Reply

      The term alcoholic shares too many connotations with AA so I applaud them for using a different term. Although AA may work for some people, its program is based off belief with very little factual information. I drank extremely heavily for years and going to AA didn’t help at all. I was told over and over again that I had no power over alcohol and the only way for me to get better was to accept AA’s program and definition of the so called “disease” that I had.

      It wasn’t until I quit going to AA and realized that the thing that was standing in the way of helping me was this dangerous belief that I was powerless over alcohol. I stopped drinking suddenly on a July day in 2011 and haven’t touched a drink yet. I don’t crave it, I don’t waste a large percentatge of my life going to meetings that are basically religious pity parties. It was when I took responsibility for my own actions rather than blaming a non existent disease that I was able to quit. AA had nothing and could never possibly have anything to do with it.

      • Speakingplaintalk March 14, 2014 at 12:30 pm - Reply

        KUDOS to you !

        for years I have seen the same in the AA program but cannot discuss it anywhere as SOOO many really believe it is the program that keeps them sober
        Those who see it is ONLY their own courage and do it without pretending they have no power over anything they allow into their lives get sober and POWERFUL and creative and productive !

        `

      • paganpink March 14, 2014 at 4:36 pm - Reply

        Isn’t the belief that you are powerless over alcohol one of the prime tenets of AA? Why are you saying they had nothing to do with it while parroting their most fundamental slogan!?

      • PatrickTully June 27, 2014 at 11:55 pm - Reply

        There is a successful treatment that has worked for me for my compulsive desire for alcohol. It only works for me when I use it.

        It’s not abstinence, which works for some but they are extremely fortunate and alas, very rare. It’s not AA or Betty Ford or Hazelden. It’s not divine intervention. And, as some of you have remarked, alcoholism isn’t a disease. For most addicts as well as most people, it’s a natural response to how your brain is supposed to function when it attempts to deal with your ingestion of alcohol.

        The treatment is knowledge, support and a simple, thoroughly tested and successful drug – Naltrexone Hydrochloride. It comes in inexpensive tablets. If you have a frank relationship with your doctor (and, if you don’t, it’s time to make it one), explain your condition to him/her and you’ll walk out with a script that same day. You’ll need to read the book I found (see below) to learn how and when to take NalHyde, your doctor may not know (mine didn’t) how to explain how to use it. It’s been exceptionally successful, has vast amounts of straight, no-BS research backing it up and is explained in easy-to-read language that will guide you to a solution that’s worked for me. The book about this drug tells how the brain works when it processes alcohol, how it responds to and counteracts those reactions and how to begin the pathway to awareness and control. Like anything else you may have already tried, It may not work for everyone but I chose it because none of the AA/BF/Hazelden paths acknowledge that their way – abstinence – will not give you the much higher success rate that may be available to you through this medicine. The book is “The Cure for Alcoholism” by Roy Eskapa, PhD. It’s a cheap, gentle, intelligent fix.
        It only works for me when I use it.

  45. ricbee January 2, 2014 at 4:47 am - Reply

    Even a new liver couldn’t help,Mickey.

  46. ricbee January 2, 2014 at 4:45 am - Reply

    Gibson was a mess,last I saw….

  47. ricbee January 2, 2014 at 4:44 am - Reply

    I wish Affleck luck,he’ll need it to get sober again.

  48. mr_bad_example December 30, 2013 at 2:57 am - Reply

    i’ve been drinking daily for over 30 years, got 10 performance bonus awards at work in the last 2 years, i tolerate the jerks/idiots at work because i know there are a dozen cold “friends” in the fridge when i get home.

    • ricbee January 2, 2014 at 4:42 am - Reply

      You sound very happy,sappy.

    • J_Doe5686 January 14, 2014 at 6:30 pm - Reply

      You are what’s called a functioning alcoholic . . . that or you’ve never heard of water before!

      • lakawak February 7, 2014 at 10:12 am - Reply

        No…it is called he is making it up.

        • Jeff Scott February 13, 2014 at 7:33 am -

          Not necessarily. Sounds like a real addict to me.

        • Alan Barnes February 14, 2014 at 12:22 am -

          No…my father was a functioning alcoholic. he could get as loaded as he wanted to the night before, and get up every day and go to work fresh as a daisy… Worked at Bell Aerosystems for 15 years, then Moog for another 30. He died at 52. People like that ARE out there.

        • additup February 14, 2014 at 7:39 pm -

          Alan, Bell Aerosystems do not usually hire 7 year olds he must have been way smart

        • Alan Barnes February 14, 2014 at 10:33 pm -

          additup -My apology for the fat fingers… he worked at Moog 20 years…..

          Besides…
          the # of years for each is approximate within a year or so.The whole
          point is that there ARE people out there that are “functionally
          alcoholic”. He drank like a lot, but he held long term jobs, supported a family, had a lot of friends, was well respected. We went fishing, to the park,
          to baseball games, sledding in winter, etc….He was a happy drunk, goofy and silly. I
          never saw him get nasty….

        • Inspector Ida February 19, 2014 at 6:44 am -

          Well the stresses at work are what make a lot of people in that particular workplace turn to alcohol. Many middle managers as well as workers deal with working there by excessive drinking. Glad to no longer be there…..it is scary considering actual lives may be at stake if procedures are not properly followed.

        • omegaman February 16, 2014 at 11:31 pm -

          52? Gee. What do you think killed?

        • Alan Barnes February 17, 2014 at 8:20 pm -

          Actually he died of a massive heart attack caused by previously undiagnosed hemochromatosis, which is a disease you are born with. Basically your body doesn’t excrete unneeded iron from your blood, and it builds up , severely damaging your internal organs.He was diagnosed about a week before he died, and was supposed to begin treatments the week after he died….He was surprisingly healthy otherwise……

        • catbell7cat May 26, 2014 at 6:46 am -

          a friend had hemochromatosis – her doc wrote out authority so she could donate all that good blood and she is still doing it at least monthly and does very well — last I talked with her they were afraid her great granddaughter inherited it so the docs are running lots of tests

        • Speakingplaintalk March 14, 2014 at 12:16 pm -

          They sure are
          have known many including step dad who rose to top of his profession and won awards during 30 years of being a mean drunk ONLY at home
          he was congenial and charming and none of those in town
          realized his problem
          he was extremely popular but at home raged and beat a kid
          often ( me)

          Before he died he begged for forgiviness and I said of course
          but had been working on it then and for many years after

          had to understand mama who was active alcoholic but kept it hdden from family and neighbors
          she did much worse than beatings
          we separated as i told her I cannot continue to live with her denial that I even exist and she could not speak and try to heal

          years later I was not told of her demise or funeral

          still work on letting go of any stuff still holding me in her talons
          and cutting any ties with her in any future incarnations as I feel I have sucked out all o f the ugly past lives we have had mutual animosity

          if she has not its of no more import to me as I have cut it off and called in HEALING in all past lives this one and all before

          when we each choose to move on Spiritually we heal the pain caused by those who ALLOW substances to take over their lives

          their path is their choice

          we move on.

          `

        • Alan Barnes March 21, 2014 at 2:35 am -

          My Dad actually didn’t have a mean bone in his body…sober or drunk. He was a happy, goofy drunk. He was very intelligent, he knew a lot about a lot of things, and was well loved and respected by everyone who knew him. Even though he drank, he never ignored his family… Family BBQs , picnics, fishing, baseball games, sledding in winter, flying kites, building go karts and scooters, fixing bikes for every kid in the neighborhood ….. He taught me electronics and cars, he taught my brother to play guitar, he was an avid horror novel fan with my sister….. We buried him with a wrench, a guitar pick, and a book mark. There’s not a day that goes by that i don’t wish he was still here, even after 20+ years. My Mom has never been the same, either.

        • Kyrin April 29, 2014 at 10:57 am -

          You sound so much like me….my Mom drank herself to death at 55 (my adopted Mom, from 5 weeks to when I met my Bio mother when I was 27…thank God/dess for THAT, though must admit all families are dysfunctional, meeting my Bio mom felt like I got a limb back or half my body or something, but my adopted Mom still whispers in my head), My adopted Mom said I drove her to drink, I gave her stomach cancer….her favourite word to bend down and yell in my face when I was barely old enough to stand, was DESPICABLE. I still wonder what she did to me, before I was old enough to remember, walk or talk, you know, when my brain cells were forming. I am 47 now and LUCKILY am not alcoholic or drug addict, just a roll of the dice genetically…but was in a couple of unbelievably bad car wrecks, broke a bunch of bones and in my 40s found out I have a gene that causes blood clots, and my veins are genetically falling apart rapidly…I have tremendous pain, but I am keeping on…I DO have wonderful friendships and other family relationships that I have made a point to cultivate trust, forgiveness, and love. I feel for you, and hope you keep “keepin on”, as well. Peace and Healing from my heart to you and all like us. We triumph when we keep loving those in our lives now, and find joy in our lives.

        • Learning64 May 25, 2014 at 6:52 pm -

          Beautiful. Best wishes to you.

        • ajmcgill February 17, 2014 at 3:35 am -

          I think he’s telling the truth. I bet he lives alone and let’s no one else in his life but his 12 daily friends. Kind of like keeping his jury in the frig, interesting but very sad.

        • JerseyShoreGiant February 17, 2014 at 8:04 pm -

          I agree there are definitely people out there like that.

        • Anthony May 30, 2014 at 6:09 pm -

          He keeps his jury in the fridge. That’s damn excellent writing!

        • ajmcgill June 1, 2014 at 12:19 am -

          Thank you Anthony. I get inspired sometimes.

      • Zee Flynn June 1, 2014 at 5:58 am - Reply

        You say it like it’s a bad thing!

    • hutch1200 February 10, 2014 at 9:41 pm - Reply

      I’m a recovering alky since 2001. We’ll save a chair for you. Your story sounds a lot like mine did. High Functioning=check. Wife, kids, Big Boats, SUVs H2, Harleys/Choppers, great house in the ‘burbs, cool job, NO DUIs. I just jumped off the booze train before it crashed & burned. I had a “low bottom”, and got to keep my stuff before the disease, which was getting worse, took them away. Never drank before/during work, but came in hung over as heck! I was gonna cross that line, soonish I reckoned.
      You are indeed terminally unique, just like the rest of us.
      Most Alcoholics are actually very intelligent. And the “disease” will outsmart you and convince you that you DON’T have a problem.
      C’mon Son! Friends don’t hang in a fridge. You sure you don’t want more from life? OK, that last part sounded “preachy”. Sorry.

      • fcabanski February 13, 2014 at 12:01 am - Reply

        People who think they’re always recovering still have a problem.

      • Speakingplaintalk March 14, 2014 at 12:22 pm - Reply

        “preachy” is in your quiver of self denigrating arrows

        let it go
        you have written truth and probable help to more than one other person
        BARDS sang iof such and every community/Tribe gave them food and rest and applause with some coin/trinkets to speed thei journey to the next community/Tribe and looked forward to their next visit with fresh news and songs of overcoming travails

        consider yourself a 21 st cent BARD

        and NEVER be too humble to give yourself some pats on the back!
        .

    • Hank Seiter March 20, 2014 at 1:21 pm - Reply

      I guess that makes you a good guy, eh? Denialism is a nice fantasy to live. I wonder what your liver looks like. I’m not a teetotaler but I’m also no pansy who is going to let alcohol make me a slave. Sounds like you’re a slave and too stupid to know it. Alcohol does that.

  49. mr_bad_example December 30, 2013 at 2:51 am - Reply

    OMG! i haven’t missed a day of heavy (binge, more than 5 drinks a day) drinking in 33 years, and i’m not complaining…

    • Maerzie February 7, 2014 at 7:10 am - Reply

      Your ex-wives are no longer complaining either!

  50. mr_bad_example December 30, 2013 at 2:48 am - Reply

    i can’t imagine the last 26 years of hell…

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